It's really sad.

It's really sad that every time my phone rings my heart races and I hold my breath.
It's really sad I don't want to sign on to facebook because I don't want to see someone NOT talking to me, but talking to everyone else.
It's really sad that I'm chasing something that doesn't want me.
It's really sad that I can't say "I'm over it" without lying.
It's really sad that I can't sleep right now.
It's really sad that I've gotten about 10 hours of attention in the last year.
It's really sad that I know that.
It's really sad that I never thought there was something wrong with that.
It's really sad that the new and exciting things right now seem drowned.
It's really sad that I thought I was so important.
It's really sad that everyone who knows me tells me the same damn things that should be obvious.
It's really sad that I always get defensive when they do.
It's really sad that I always have to explain why I'm still in this.

It's really sad that all of this which sounds like a stupid boy fling is really my best friend.

It's just really fucking sad.