Because my birthday is on the 13th (Febz). I was going to do a list of 21 to match my age but I thought that was a bit much...not that I couldn't list 21 things...anyways
1. Anything J.Crew
2. Anything from the home section at Anthropologie because although their clothes are great, it is unnecessarily expensive which makes me not like it. However their home department is to die for
3. A beautiful and quirky metal tea set, pot for making it and the matching little tea cups
4. An assortment of exotic teas...I'm not a fan of the fruity stuff.
5. Suede vans in the "Sycamore" color: http://shop.vans.com/catalog/Vans/en_US/product/women/authentics_eras/suede-authentic.html#
6. External, PORTABLE hard drive
7. Any steampunk jewelry (try etsy)
8. Gift certificate to LUSH
9. Ballet flats with something sparkly or feminine on them
10. Dustin O'Halloran CDs
11. The new Alkaline Trio CD because it should be out before my birthday
12. Kat Von D Lipstick in "Hellbent"
13. Eating Animals by Johnathan Safran Foer (Haven't read it yet and want it so badly!)
That is a damn good list. I MIGHT buy some of these soon so you should check with me first...hah.
martedì 29 dicembre 2009
lunedì 14 dicembre 2009
giovedì 10 dicembre 2009
Today's "what just happened?" moment.
A frantic and emotional Facebook chat message lingers on the browser I didn't know was open.
I find it. Too late to respond. The person is off. So I message this person because I'm alarmed and I naturally worry very easily.
Like I said, it's emotional, upset, and venting.
Which I'm fine with.
But it's strange when people I barely know, although I do like this person from what I do know, turn to me for a meaningful and helpful conversation about something very upsetting. And I say what seems to me to be very simplistic positive notes, practically stating what seems obvious...just some happy thoughts...I am complimented with amazement. I mean...it was a nice exchange.
But after it was said and done, I just thought..."Whatjusthappenedjustthenrightnow?"
I'm used to people in my life turning to me for advice, a shoulder (or just the entire body really) to cry on, talking to me about issues, and depending on me for an assortment of things. But to come from someone I've only met twice. Well there's a whole new level. I don't know what energy I exude that makes people think this is what I'm for. I'm definitely NOT complaining. I enjoy it. I love being there for people...anybody. Even mean and nasty people because I don't have the heart to turn people away.
But seriously, what just happened?
I find it. Too late to respond. The person is off. So I message this person because I'm alarmed and I naturally worry very easily.
Like I said, it's emotional, upset, and venting.
Which I'm fine with.
But it's strange when people I barely know, although I do like this person from what I do know, turn to me for a meaningful and helpful conversation about something very upsetting. And I say what seems to me to be very simplistic positive notes, practically stating what seems obvious...just some happy thoughts...I am complimented with amazement. I mean...it was a nice exchange.
But after it was said and done, I just thought..."Whatjusthappenedjustthenrightnow?"
I'm used to people in my life turning to me for advice, a shoulder (or just the entire body really) to cry on, talking to me about issues, and depending on me for an assortment of things. But to come from someone I've only met twice. Well there's a whole new level. I don't know what energy I exude that makes people think this is what I'm for. I'm definitely NOT complaining. I enjoy it. I love being there for people...anybody. Even mean and nasty people because I don't have the heart to turn people away.
But seriously, what just happened?
sabato 5 dicembre 2009
I have high standards.
It's a terrible thing sometimes but I'm terribly attached to them.
I'm not holier than thou. I don't stare in disdain when I disapprove. But I will disapprove.
I'll keep it to myself. But I won't lie if you ask.
Please don't ask if you're going to get mad when you don't hear what you like.
When you feel compelled to ask, you know that you know it is bad. Whatever it is.
If you felt it was okay, you wouldn't be searching for justification.
Respecting someone's choices is different from agreeing with them.
I usually respect. I usually disagree.
I have high standards, but that doesn't grant me perfection. Don't treat me like I'm perfect.
If you only knew.
I have high standards for myself, for those I love, and for those with whom I choose to associate.
I realize this makes things difficult. It makes friends believe that I think I am better than them. It makes guys think I'm ready to judge them and shut them down
Worse it makes friends believe that I am better than.
Worse still, it turns me into some pinnacle of high morals.
Please.
I really don't know what I do to make people feel this way. Just because I choose to live my life a certain way, does not mean that I condemn anything different than that. I don't condemn. That is not my job. I don't care for it and frankly, it's not my problem. Even for those whom I love and care about, I can only say so much out of pure concern and worry, but any more than that is out of my hands and outside my concern.
Yes. I have a high level of self respect. Yes I have high expectations for people because I want people I love to be as amazing as I know they are, and to live a life I think they deserve. Not one filled with stupid alcohol and drug habits. Not one spent with people who bring them down and treat them like shit.
Yes I have standards for the man I want to be with. And don't tell me those standards are silly hopes or out of reach musings. If I can do it, so can someone else. If I can hold certain values for my body and life, and have important passions and ambitions in my life, I don't see why someone else can't.
I appreciate that people respect me for all these things. But I am not the iron fist behind the warm heart.
I don't really know where all this came from. Nothing in particular sparked this. Perhaps it's a love interest that has me confused and unsure. Perhaps it's me worrying whether I'll ever find someone I can accept fully. Friends are easier in this respect. You don't have to give yourself to them. And it's not to say that I can't accept the "good" and the "bad." I can. I know I can. I have. I did and then it all ran away from me in fear of "tainting me." Bullshit.
What I worry about is that person not feeling comfortable or right being with someone who doesn't have all that many stereotypical "bads" - seeing me as something too good to reckon with. Which by the way is absolutely ridiculous. I am not THAT. Please believe it.
So anyway. There's that.
I'm not holier than thou. I don't stare in disdain when I disapprove. But I will disapprove.
I'll keep it to myself. But I won't lie if you ask.
Please don't ask if you're going to get mad when you don't hear what you like.
When you feel compelled to ask, you know that you know it is bad. Whatever it is.
If you felt it was okay, you wouldn't be searching for justification.
Respecting someone's choices is different from agreeing with them.
I usually respect. I usually disagree.
I have high standards, but that doesn't grant me perfection. Don't treat me like I'm perfect.
If you only knew.
I have high standards for myself, for those I love, and for those with whom I choose to associate.
I realize this makes things difficult. It makes friends believe that I think I am better than them. It makes guys think I'm ready to judge them and shut them down
Worse it makes friends believe that I am better than.
Worse still, it turns me into some pinnacle of high morals.
Please.
I really don't know what I do to make people feel this way. Just because I choose to live my life a certain way, does not mean that I condemn anything different than that. I don't condemn. That is not my job. I don't care for it and frankly, it's not my problem. Even for those whom I love and care about, I can only say so much out of pure concern and worry, but any more than that is out of my hands and outside my concern.
Yes. I have a high level of self respect. Yes I have high expectations for people because I want people I love to be as amazing as I know they are, and to live a life I think they deserve. Not one filled with stupid alcohol and drug habits. Not one spent with people who bring them down and treat them like shit.
Yes I have standards for the man I want to be with. And don't tell me those standards are silly hopes or out of reach musings. If I can do it, so can someone else. If I can hold certain values for my body and life, and have important passions and ambitions in my life, I don't see why someone else can't.
I appreciate that people respect me for all these things. But I am not the iron fist behind the warm heart.
I don't really know where all this came from. Nothing in particular sparked this. Perhaps it's a love interest that has me confused and unsure. Perhaps it's me worrying whether I'll ever find someone I can accept fully. Friends are easier in this respect. You don't have to give yourself to them. And it's not to say that I can't accept the "good" and the "bad." I can. I know I can. I have. I did and then it all ran away from me in fear of "tainting me." Bullshit.
What I worry about is that person not feeling comfortable or right being with someone who doesn't have all that many stereotypical "bads" - seeing me as something too good to reckon with. Which by the way is absolutely ridiculous. I am not THAT. Please believe it.
So anyway. There's that.
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