SO MUCH BETTER
tuleep.tumblr.com
mercoledì 16 giugno 2010
domenica 6 giugno 2010
Vows.
This summer, I vow to make it the summer of spontaneity, of letting go, and loosening my slightly tight ass. I vow it to be the summer of my first kiss, not the one where I wait for someone to make it happen for me but the one where I hold someone's face and do it myself...because I want to and because I won't obsess over the meaning or morals of it.
It sounds stupid, but I think this vow is highly influenced by Yes Man. Not that it gave me the idea, but that it put all my own thoughts straight in front of my face.
I hide behind my "moral standards" but really it's all just because it's easier to say no and remain the same than it is to say yes and do something I've never done before. I know this about myself. I have always known this about myself. But I don't think it'll really really hit me until someone calls me out on it. Everyone puts me at this moral pinnacle (which is such bullshit and just makes me lie to myself even more) and then I keep saying no when I should say yes. They make me feel proud of my hide out and my "morals" when really I'm ashamed of it sometimes because it keeps me stuck where I am. If my friends don't call me out on it at the right time, then I think I'm going to stay like this until I meet a guy who isn't afraid to tell me to "stop acting self righteous when in reality you aren't...when in reality you're just hiding and I'm not going to let you." Or something less rehearsed and movie-like.
I see the bullshit. And I try to overcome it. Sometimes I do. I really try. But it's easy to keep acting when everyone on set thinks that's the real you.
It sounds stupid, but I think this vow is highly influenced by Yes Man. Not that it gave me the idea, but that it put all my own thoughts straight in front of my face.
I hide behind my "moral standards" but really it's all just because it's easier to say no and remain the same than it is to say yes and do something I've never done before. I know this about myself. I have always known this about myself. But I don't think it'll really really hit me until someone calls me out on it. Everyone puts me at this moral pinnacle (which is such bullshit and just makes me lie to myself even more) and then I keep saying no when I should say yes. They make me feel proud of my hide out and my "morals" when really I'm ashamed of it sometimes because it keeps me stuck where I am. If my friends don't call me out on it at the right time, then I think I'm going to stay like this until I meet a guy who isn't afraid to tell me to "stop acting self righteous when in reality you aren't...when in reality you're just hiding and I'm not going to let you." Or something less rehearsed and movie-like.
I see the bullshit. And I try to overcome it. Sometimes I do. I really try. But it's easy to keep acting when everyone on set thinks that's the real you.
Iscriviti a:
Post (Atom)