Stivali nuevi

My mood is very strange. All I want to do is blast pop music and play dress up with my new boots. I haven't left the house in over 36 hours and I'm totally okay with that. This has never happened to me before. I don't want to go out and I don't care to see anyone but my family right now. Strange days.

I have had this complete loss of caring about socializing. I really don't care to at all. I figure, I'll talk to people at school, I'll see people when they call me to hangout, but I have no inclination to call people and make plans.

I think it's just that I'm so absolutely tired of being people's bitch. That's about as crudely as I can put it, but it kind of feels that way. I'm always the one to call everyone and make plans and chase after people and do everything I can to be friends and make them like me and I've just come to this point where I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. I have my family and I'm happy. I don't care about finding time for friends all the time and being held responsible for doing so, especially when they don't find time for me. I REALLY don't care about making new friends or trying to hang out with school friends that just don't care to call or see me. I'm just so over it. If I'm not crazy about you, then I don't give a shit. I'm sick of constantly waiting for people to let me in and constantly trying to be their friends. I'm just going to start going with my instincts, if I feel the person cares and is worth it, then yeah, but most people these days are just not.

Tamara really has always had the right idea of relationships and people in general. Why haven't I modeled her theories earlier? I could have avoided so much rejection, hurt, stupidity, and just generally letting people get away with treating me like shit. I always make fun of her for not having any friends, but you know what? The few she does have are REAL and actually love and care about her so much. Things are always 100% honest and comfortable. She doesn't bother with the tons of people that just don't understand what it is to be a good friend. I have bothered for too long, and I officially dub this the weekend when Dana stopped giving a fuck.

Good day.

-Dana