Caring is difficult.

I wish the caring mechanism in our heads could be connected to an on/off switch (and the switch plate would be fittingly decorated with Care Bears).

Today I was told that I think I know everything, that voicing my opinions should be restricted, and (this is the kicker) that I'm a little fuck that needs to grow up.

Having someone outline to you how you are a terrible person on many levels isn't exactly the easiest thing to sit through or recover from.

Here I am thinking, Oh man I've made so much progress in these past couple of years. I've been working on many of my insecurities. I'm not thinking about the fact that I'm alone every minute anymore. I have gotten to the point where I go months without thinking about guys I never got over. I've gotten so much better about not dwelling on things. I feel like I finally know what I want to study and what kind of career I want to pursue. I get along so well with my parents now whom I love and respect so much. I'm thinking that I've finally gotten through this whole growing up thing.

And then I'm told that I'm judgmental, gluttonous in what I like and other things in my life, and that I do things without the consideration of others--by my own sister to boot.

Now I know that people who get to know you often provide insight on things you never saw in yourself. I've gone through it. I've heard many things before and many times they were true and so I worked on it.

But that list of descriptions is, frankly, an utter load of mile high shit.

I'm an opinionated person, and by that I mean I share what I think. But I'm also respectful. What certain people don't get is that my opinion is not a form of attack or disrespect. Just because you don't like what you hear doesn't mean you have the right to cruelly tear me down.

Until this day you (my sister) think I'm a 13 year old idiot. You think I'm stuck in my own world and I don't think about others. You think I need to be told and instructed what to do. You always think the worst in me. You always manage to find a way to explain my actions as selfish, attacking, and "OUT TO GET YOU!"

To be honest with you, get over yourself. You're not worth the time. And if you find me to be too immature and don't like my opinions, nobody is forcing you to listen to me. Nobody is forcing you to be in my presence. But don't think for a minute that just because you're sitting in the same discussion as I am, that I will restrict myself from saying what I really think for the sake of sparing your inability to take disagreement and conversation including the other perspective.

I've spent quite a bit of time and energy working on becoming a decent individual. I'm not going to let one person ruin all of that or make me second guess everything.

I think this is the point where hearing stuff like this is no longer advice or eye opening on how I really am. What it means is someone doesn't really know me and doesn't know how to talk with me. Where I am now--mentally, physically, psychologically or otherwise--is good and I'm confident with that. Of course, I can always be better. All humans can always be better. But I like where I am and I love where I'm going.

I'm quiet and insecure enough as it is. I've just started being better about that and to have someone tell me that I need to shut up about what I think...well, that's the last thing I need to hear because that's the one thing that ruins me time and time again.